


A Very Paternal Kind of Christmas

by Deluxe



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Elves, F/M, Humor, M/M, Other, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 20:27:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5469833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deluxe/pseuds/Deluxe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael had always been a little different. But when Christmas comes along during his 36th year of life, he really takes it overboard. Little does the gang know, there is something very special about their dear friend. But will Michael's differences sever his life from Pittsburgh forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Paternal Kind of Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://s1382.photobucket.com/user/writersdeluxe/media/A%20Paternal%20Kind%20of%20Christmas%20banner_zpshtesb1o3.jpg.html)   
> 

Ben first noticed the _change_ when he came home from his last day of classes. 

 

He had been forced to duck in order to avoid the cutout snowflakes hanging from the ceiling. Startled, he looked around and saw that the snowflakes were everywhere. Lights were wrapped around the banister, lined the door frames, and lit up the tree. Candy canes hung off of the branches. A toy train made it’s way around the room, carrying candy and tinsel. 

 

Ben was all for a bit of tasteful decoration. But this...this looked like Santa’s helpers threw up during a blizzard. 

 

“Ben, sweetie!” Michael greeted as he carefully carried out a huge and elaborate gingerbread house, “I’m so glad you’re home. Can you clear off a space for this? I want it to be somewhere where everyone can see it in the clear to give those who enter some Christmas cheer!”

 

Ben looked around the room, confused, “Uh, sure. Here, maybe on top of the entertainment center.”

 

Michael gasped, “That’s a great idea! I can have the front of the house face the window and the back of the house face the couch!” 

 

Michael put the gingerbread house down and sighed with happiness, “Isn’t it beautiful?” 

 

Ben chuckled, a bit confused, “Uh...sure. You really got into the Christmas spirit while I was in class, didn’t you?”

 

“A little bit,” Michael admitted excitedly, “But there is still so much more to do!”

 

Michael took Ben’s hand and dragged him to the kitchen. The counters were filled with hundreds of cookies and Ben felt overwhelmed just looking at them.

 

“Uh, Michael? What are we going to do with all of these?” Ben asked as he picked up an oatmeal butterscotch cookie. 

 

“Eat them, silly!” Michael giggled as he stuffed his face with five cookies at once.

 

So yeah, that had been the moment Ben knew deep down that his life was going to change forever.

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

For Michael, it had taken longer to realize that it was something magical that made him truly unique.

 

He always knew he was different. First, he liked boys when most boys liked girls. When he figured that out, he just chalked up his differences to being gay. He was attracted to men because he was gay. He got bullied more in school because he was gay, even though he had never told any of his classmates besides Brian back then. He had an obsession with Captain Astro and that was because Captain Astro was totally gay and there was nothing that anyone could say that would make that not true and no one could ever stifle Captain Astro’s true sexuality, not even the publishing company that killed him off for just the subtext hinting that he might be and how fucked up was that? 

 

He got angry about Captain Astro being killed off because he was gay too.

 

So, when he was nineteen and his shoes had curled upwards before growing bells on them, Michael thought that he had just been on a really bad trip from the drugs Anita had given him at Babylon. And you know why he had gone to Babylon? It was because he was gay. So there had been no other reason for Michael to think his shoes had curled up and grew bells on them. 

 

At least not until he was 36 years old and found out that his life was about to turn into something that came straight from a fairy tale.

 

And even when Michael had felt cheer over decorating for Christmas that he had never felt before, he hadn’t realized who he truly was meant to be until he met his biological father. His REAL biological father. 

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Ben had tried to chalk up Michael’s strange behavior to stress over the holidays. Maybe it was Michael’s way of coping with his sadness over JR staying up in Canada for the holidays. So he grinned as Michael baked more sweets and helped with the abundance of Christmas decorations his husband bought by putting them on their lawn and roof. But he couldn’t help but cringe when Michael had hissed, “Impostor!” at the mall Santa and he felt pretty exasperated when Michael put pillows in the fireplace to ensure Santa’s safe landing. 

 

He ended up calling a psychiatric ward but hung up before they could answer. He didn’t _want_ to have his husband committed. And he would try to avoid it unless Michael was a danger to himself. 

 

So Ben called Debbie instead.

 

“Debbie?” he asked quietly, already feeling queasy from what was going on.

 

“Ben!” Debbie exclaimed, “What are you doing, calling me this early in the morning?”

 

“I wanted to call while Michael was still asleep,” Ben admitted, “He...he stayed up until 4 in the morning, going door to door in order to sing Christmas carols. I’m surprised no one called the police. I told Eli and Monty that he was on a medication making him this way. Debbie, I don’t know what’s going on with my husband. I’m worried. I don’t know if it’s the holidays or-”

 

“It’s not,” Debbie choked out, surprisingly emotional, “It...wake Michael up so he can be up and ready. I’m coming over. I...I have some explaining to do. He deserves to know and it was selfish of me to keep this from him. I just...I just wanted him to have a normal childhood and I wanted him with me. I’m his ma, you know?”

 

Ben stayed silent for a beat as Debbie softly sobbed on the other line, “Yeah, Debbie. I know. But you’re freaking me out here. What’s wrong with-”

 

“I’ll see you in an hour.”

 

Debbie hung up the phone and Ben took his own phone away from his ear to stare at it. What the hell was going on?

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Michael, can you please stop building that toy and listen to me? I have something important to talk to you about.”

 

Michael glanced up quickly towards his mother before settling back to finish building his toy. This time he was making a talking doll for JR. He made it with his voice so she knew how much her daddy loved her.

 

“Daddy loves you, JR!” the doll said when he squeezed his tummy.

 

Michael stared at it proudly before glancing up at his mother, “All done, Ma. What did you need to talk to me about?”

 

His mother let out a sigh and sat down next to him, “Michael, I know you’ve been going through some changes-”

 

“What? I’ve never felt better!”

 

“Michael, I called her. You’ve been acting a lot different,” Ben told him. 

 

Michael scoffed and looked at his husband with love, “Ben, come on. I’m fine-”

 

“There’s a reason for it, sweetheart,” Debbie frets, staring down at her hands, “You see...god, I don’t know how to say this but...Lieutenant John Michael Novotny is not your real father.”

 

Ben looked at her, bewildered over how this had anything to do with what was going on. But all Michael did was roll his eyes.

 

“Ma, I know. I ended up going along with it because it made you feel better. I know my dad is Danny Devore.”

 

“No, it’s not him either.”

 

Michael did a double take, “But...but we look exactly alike! We are both gay, we both-”

 

“I know. And I see why you thought he was your dad. Hell, I let him believe it while he was in. It was the logical explanation. He wasn’t believing anything else anyway and god knows he wouldn’t believe the real answer.”

 

“Mom…” Michael said slowly, “Who is my father?”

 

“His...his name is Kris. Kris Kringle.”

 

Michael stared at his mother before dissolving into laughter as Ben glared at her for making such a stupid joke when there was something serious going on.

 

“Debbie, I don’t appreciate you coming over here, under the guise that you are helping, only to make some joke about Michael’s paternity!” Ben fumed as he stood up.

 

“I promise, I’m not ly-”

 

“Ma, come on,” Michael reasoned good naturedly, “Santa is _married_. He’s been married to Mrs. Claus for ages and I’m sure she’s a lovely woman.”

 

“I’m sure she is,” Debbie answered, “I’ve never met her, so I don’t know for sure. All I know is that there were times when she couldn’t meet her husband’s sexual needs and desires.”

 

Ben huffed, “Debbie, what kind of sick joke is this?”

 

“It’s not a sick joke,” a deep voice said from the fireplace.

 

The three of them turned their heads, two of them in shock. But all Debbie did was purse her lips.

 

“Figured you were busy due to the time of year and all.”

 

Santa gave Debbie a soft smile, “Like I have told you countless times before, I am never too busy for you or our son.”

 

Ben stuttered as he stared at the man before choking out, “S-Santa?”

 

Santa let out a jolly laugh, “That’s my title. But you can call me Kris, just like your mother-in-law does. And you...you must be my son-in-law. Ben Bruckner. I remember when you were six years old and wanted a baby sister. I can’t say I was responsible for that little miracle but I did get you that train set you also wanted.”

 

“You’re...you’re not real. Everyone over the age of 10 knows that. You’re something that was made up. A mix of different legends and people and-”

 

“Made real by magic,” Santa finished softly.

 

Ben stared at Santa before looking at Michael and Debbie, “What the fuck?!”

 

“Dad?” Michael whispered in awe.

 

“Yes son,” Santa whispered back, choked up as he held out his arms, “I’m here now.”

 

Michael slowly walked over and welcomed his father’s arms around him.

 

And when Michael finally turned around to stare at his mother, he realized there was a whole story there. 

 

“Mom?” he asked her, “Tell me. Tell me why Dad wasn’t a part of our lives.”

 

“Oh sweetheart,” she whimpered, “He was. He was always there. He saw you while you were sleeping. I...I guess I should start from the beginning.”

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

_December 31st, 1970_

 

“This party is incredible, Danny!” Debbie exclaimed as she went inside with her boyfriend, “Thanks again for being my date.”

 

“Who else would I go with?” Danny dismissed as he stared at some guy’s ass. Debbie didn’t know why he did that. Danny had a nice ass. There was no need to be jealous.

 

“I’m going to get us something to drink,” Debbie tells him, “Be right back!”

 

Debbie went over to the punch bowl and got two party cups to pour their drinks in but was stopped by an older gentleman. 

 

“The punch is spiked,” the man said quietly before handing her a glass bottle, “Here. Why don’t you try a delicious Coca Cola instead?”

 

Debbie scoffed as she gave the man a once over, “I know it’s spiked. That’s why I want some. And hey, it isn’t Christmas anymore, pal. What’s with the Santa costume?”

 

A small smile touched the old man’s lips as his eyes grew bright, “I guess my Christmas spirit is firmly in place. What’s your name, beautiful?”

 

Debbie hesitated. The last thing she wanted was to give her name to some pervy old man. But he seemed sweet and something in his eyes told her he was something special.

 

“Debbie. Debbie Grassi. And what’s yours?”

 

“...Kris.”

 

“Kris what?”

 

The old man gave her a knowing smile before looking behind her shoulder, “I’m afraid your boyfriend has directed his attention to someone else.”

 

Debbie turned around and gasped at what she saw. There he was, Danny Devore, kissing another man before following him into another room! 

 

Actually, she wasn’t that surprised. But what was it with her and gay men?

 

“Well, there goes my date!” Debbie said, exasperated.

 

“You can always get a new one,” Kris whispered in her ear. 

 

Debbie turned around before giving him a suspicious look.

 

“You have to be at least 75 years old. I’m only 18.”

 

“Age is nothing but a number,” Kris told her cryptically, “How do you think I got invited to this party? I have moves. I obviously have style. Come on, let me show you a great time.”

 

Debbie reflected. She wasn’t particularly attracted to the man, but he was okay for an old dude. Besides, she was always about trying something at least once. Maybe with age came wisdom and he would show her the time of her life...if he could still get it up that is.

 

“Alright,” she told him, taking his hand and leading him upstairs, “I’m feeling pretty turned on right now. There’s magic in the air, it feels like. Show me a great time and kiss me at midnight.”

 

“Oh, I will,” Kris told her as he pulled her in at the waist, “But that won’t be our first kiss. Sorry, I just can’t stop myself.”

 

Their lips met and Debbie moaned into the kiss, desperately needing more. God, he was such a great kisser. And so naughty! Debbie couldn’t help but blush when his gloved fingers traced her other set of lips through her jeans. 

 

“You’ve been a very bad girl, haven’t you Debbie?” Kris whispered as he pushed her on the bed.

 

“So very bad,” she purred huskily.

 

“You know what naughty girls get, don’t you?” 

 

And god, did he show her! He took off all of their clothes, left his hat on, and went to town. His tongue felt so good against her clit, so teasing and knowledgeable. But that was all to ease her into his rough thrusts once his large cock was inside her.

 

“Oh, fuck me Santa!” she cried out, settling into an unexpected roleplay.

 

And when Kris’s eyes lit up in pure jolly joy, she knew she had made the right decision.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Jesus, what the fuck Deb?” a voice called out from the door.

 

The four of them turn to stare at Brian, who is covering his ears and blushing furiously.

 

“Brian, it’s just sex,” Deb insisted.

 

“Hetero sex,” Brian hissed as he came to take the seat Ben abandoned, “What’s going on, Mikey? I thought we were going to meet at Babylon.”

 

“Brian, it’s 10 o’clock in the morning,” Ben points out.

 

“Oh, look. The zen professor can tell time. Good for him. Come on, Mikey. Get your tightest pants on so that we can leave.”

 

Michael sighed. He knew Brian had been feeling pretty rough lately with Justin gone but he needed to learn that Michael had a loving partner at home to be with. Plus, he would much rather stay home and make toys for JR, decorate the beautiful home he owned with Ben, and eat candy all day. 

 

And now he would like to spend the day getting to know his father. He wanted to get to know Santa Claus.

 

“Brian Kinney!” Santa grinned as he recognized the man.

 

Brian stared at him, confused, for a few seconds before turning to Michael.

 

“Who the fuck is this?”

 

Michael grinned in anticipation, “It’s my dad, Brian.”

 

Brian snorted, “So Danny decided to ditch the drag and take a seasonal position at the mall. Drag not making you good money these days, _Divina_?”

 

Santa shook his head, “I know you’re a better person but that biting sarcasm reminds me so much of your father. Oh, don’t mistake me. Your father was a bad elf. But he could make the whole workshop laugh from time to time.”

 

Brian looked at him, wide eyed, “...What?”

 

“Yeah, Kris. What?” Debbie echos.

 

“Jack was a very bad elf. Always smuggling liquor back to the North Pole on his rounds. Getting into fights with both his mentors AND the younger elves. I had to demote him to a human. His parents were upset. But they’re doing okay. They had six more kids and have a little girl on the way. Oh yes. Congratulations! You’re going to have a new aunt!”

 

Brian took a few steps back, “...What?”

 

“Kris...you’re just messing with Brian, right? Don’t get me wrong, feel free because it’s always fun to mess with him but you can tell me...are you being truthful?”

 

“I don’t lie, Debbie. You know that.”

 

Debbie scoffs and crosses her arms, “Oh, yeah? So when we hooked up and I didn’t know you were the actual Santa Claus, were you being truthful then?”

 

“You just assume things!” Santa fumed, pacing back and forth, “You just assumed that I wasn’t the real Santa until after we made love and I proved it to you and you just assumed that I wouldn’t leave Mrs. Claus for you! Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions! And don’t bring up the Kris vs. Santa debate! You KNOW I go by Kris when during my one night stands. I didn’t know you would show me more of the world than I had ever seen on any Christmas Eve!”

 

“So clingy,” Debbie muttered.

 

“Mom, Dad!” Michael whined, “Tell me the rest of the story!”

 

“Alright,” Santa sighed, “I would come and visit you. Always on Christmas Eve but sometimes on other times of the year when Mrs. Claus went on weekend trips with her girlfriends. I...I just couldn’t get enough of you. You were such an adorable baby and I knew that one day we would reunite but your mother wanted you to have a normal human childhood. But you are anything but, Michael.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Michael asked as he went to glue gum drops to the door frame.

 

Santa let out a sigh and dove further into the tale.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

_Christmas Eve, 1974_

“He’s my son, Debbie!” Santa growled as he paced the floor.

 

“Keep your voice down!” Debbie whispered in a hushed tone, “I don’t want him waking up.”

 

Santa turned to stare at the woman. God, that beautiful and strong young woman. One who he couldn’t get enough of. 

 

“You know he’s not an average little boy,” he told her softly, “He...he’s going to have to come with me someday. Life outside of the North Pole won’t be enough for him.”

 

“Don’t say that,” she choked out, “He will grow up to be a great man. He’ll have a wife or a partner. He’ll have kids. He’ll have a nice house in Shadyside and I’ll be so proud-”

 

“So you won’t be proud of him if he follows his true destiny?” Santa interrupts, “He’s not human. He’s an elf, through and through. And if he wants to, he can fight his older half brothers for my position once the time comes.”

 

Debbie closes her eyes and turns away before whispering, “How much time do I have?”

 

“Oh sweetheart,” Santa murmurs as he puts his hands on her shoulders, “Elves...their lives are much longer. Hundreds of years longer. If he stays here...if he stays here then he’ll watch everyone he loves pass before him.”

 

“Don’t say that!” Debbie sobbed, “He’s a normal little boy!”

 

“He’s not. You’ll notice changes in his mid-30s before his ears start to get pointy. He will have desires that this world can’t fully accommodate. He will build toys compulsively at lightning speed. He will begin to talk to woodland creatures-”

 

“NO!!!!!” Debbie sobbed, almost hysterical over the news.

 

Santa sighed and turned his lover around.

 

“Come here,” he murmured.

 

Debbie pounded her fists against his chest before finally giving up and resting her head on Santa’s chest.

 

“I’ll...I’ll make sure you have him for as long as possible,” Santa tells her softly, “I won’t take him away from you until it’s a necessity.”

 

Debbie sniffled and wiped her tears against the red coat. Santa let out a sigh before blurting out what he had been waiting for all night.

 

“Can I see him? I...I won’t wake him. I’m good at not waking up the kids. I just want to see him and how much he’s grown in person.

 

Debbie wiped at her face and nods before taking Santa’s hand and leading him up the stairs. She slowly opened Michael’s bedroom door and stood aside so that Santa could go through first. 

 

“God,” Santa whispered, “He’s...He’s-”

 

“Beautiful,” Debbie finished as she puts her chin on his shoulder and her arms around his waist, “We did make a beautiful kid, didn’t we?”

 

Santa nodded as he took off a glove to brush his son’s cheek with his hand. 

 

“He’s so small. Just like the rest of the elves.”

 

Debbie stayed silent before kissing Santa’s shoulder, “You better go. You have a busy night tonight.”

 

“Debbie-” Santa started before Debbie held up a hand.

 

“You have a wife, Kris. Is Mrs. okay with the idea of you sleeping with a 22 year old human girl? Does she even know? About us? About Michael?”

 

Santa opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

 

“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you and our son,” Santa insisted.

 

“I know,” Debbie said with a sad smile as she backed away, “You just love Mrs. more.”

 

“No,” Santa told her, “I love you all the same. Just...Just please, just let us have our night…”

 

Debbie gasped as Santa took her breath away with a searing kiss. Tearing open her bathrobe, he left her exposed for his eyes to take in with longing.

 

“Kris,” Debbie sighed in pleasure as Santa pressed kisses against her jaw, “You have things to do. You have a whole world to visit-”

 

“I have magic on my side,” Santa smiled as he teleported them into her bedroom before picking her up to lay her on the bed, “I have all the time in the world.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The room was silent as they learned of the star-crossed lovers. 

 

“It’s been over for twenty years though,” Debbie growled, “Don’t let him put ideas into your head.”

 

“Is that why you came?” Michael asked after clearing his throat, “To try to convince us Mom is the love of your life?

 

Debbie and Santa looked at each other for several moments before Santa shook his head.

 

“No, Son. No, I came for another reason.”

 

Santa glanced at Ben before making his announcement.

 

“I know you’ve enjoyed your time here. Your mother gave you a good life. But now it’s time. Now it’s time for you to come home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all like this little fic I wrote that was inspired by the holiday season! :)


End file.
